Pack a Lunch

Being right isn’t enough, and I’ve learned that the hard way. A trusted friend called me out on how I show up, and often “No” can be my first response. I know better, and I was raised better. I’ve gotten into a bad habit: If I’m busy or feeling stressed and someone brings me an idea, it’s not uncommon for me to lead with “No,” when I mean, “I think the effort isn’t worth the outcome.”

I usually try to explain exactly why and sometimes I’m even right. And slowly, without realizing it, I was becoming someone reliably closed-minded. My pessimism leads me to snap judgments. Being right and being useful had quietly parted ways. Two phrases from my Dad come to mind. When I was fifteen or so, like so many cocky teen boys, I told my dad I could definitely work faster than him and could take him in a fight. He didn’t argue, maybe just laughed a little, but he did have two things to say. On the fight: “Maybe one day you could take me, but you better pack a lunch, because it’s going to take all day.” On the work: “Maybe. But can you keep coming back day after day?

Marathoners always beat sprinters…eventually.” He is a reliable force for good, an inventor, a volunteer and the guy consistently still showing up to serve after a full week of work. He never announced the effort. He just keeps coming back. My mom taught me the other half. Over the course of my life, I’ve seen her run a daycare, plan weddings, teach unruly children, teach unruly adults, pick up new skills and serve her family, neighbors and strangers alike with a servant’s heart.

Recently, I was alone for a thousand miles of windshield time in an unfamiliar state, so naturally I called her. I was talking through how I’d be taking inventory in eight stores, so far from home, in just two weeks. Somewhere in that conversation, she complimented me about how I’d never once mapped out what failure would look like—I’d just started planning from today to “job well done.” She wasn’t surprised. “Well of course not, Jared. It’s just work—you know how to do that.”

I never saw them lead with “No”—I was raised better than that. Even if accurate, a “No” delivered at the wrong moment, in the wrong order, is still wrong. The leader who’s usually right but always leads with why something won’t work will eventually find themselves working alone. Lead with “Yes.”

Explain what it takes.

Pack your lunch.